“Do they love you or the masks you put on everyday ? “
The many masks that we wear.
What happens when you discover what lies below the masks that our loved ones wear , or quite the contrary ? Bruised , Battered or Broken ?
Wanna get rid of the exhausting , inauthentic , wannabe type of life your living , more or less like an imposter. SNAP!! ‘ Imposter ‘ reminded me of something significant. Psychology has it’s own term for masking personality known as ‘ Imposter syndrome’. Yes !! you read the above bold italics right and it’s high time you diagnose it if u haven’t yet. If you want to get rid of the imposter that’s living inside of you, read on because this article is just what the doctor ordered.
Why do we wear masks ?
- Fear of judgement : when we are afraid of judgemental eyes. That’s when we foster the fear every time we say a ‘yes’ when deep inside it has always been a ‘no’. we tend to nourish this fear by hiding who we really are . To avoid embarrassment we mask our personality and authentic self. Being fake and masking for how long ?!
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Dr. Seuss.
- Emotional Detachment : when we fail to connect with our emotions , feelings and inner self. That’s when we mask our pain for joy , hatred for love , fear for bravery, insecurity for confidence or vice versa. Remember that our emotions want and need to be felt.Because the longer we keep our emotions locked away , the more they struggle to get out. It is necessary to unleash our emotions and for once just let go. Do not hesitate to show happiness, sadness, excitement, anger, frustration, helplessness and other feelings.
- Zero Self- Esteem : That’s when ‘ believe in yourself ‘ is like mission impossible. And the fear of being unwanted, unattractive, or unworthy takes over and is too great to overcome. You don’t feel brave enough and you tend to believe that you weren’t blessed with the superman / superwoman kind of DNA. You think you aren’t that courageous to be the real you.
How to get rid of our mask.
- Release the need for acceptance : You have to realize that not everyone will agree with everything you do and your approach in life and people unhappy with it will judge you no matter what .That’s okay. It’s not about them. It’s about you and your life. Accept who you are and keep going and that’s your secret mantra you don’t have to look for a mask to hide.
- Connect with yourself : You are the owner of your life. If you are not connected with who you really are, you are probably just living your life for others. In order to connect with yourself you must know your values and beliefs , You must be capable of discovering your real purpose ,You should have a clear notion about your visions, goals and dreams . Over all it’s a self awareness process.
- Have self confidence : Get rid of self- limiting beliefs and let go of self – criticism. Believe you are much capable and don’t let a mask define your potential. unleash your superpower (authentic self ) that’s what the world desires to see.
- Shame Resilience: Shame, embarrassment and awkwardness the stumbling blocks that’s holding you back from doing what you really want. Shame Resilience is a profound psychology theory which i think is the perfect solution when it comes to battling issues with regard to masking personality.
What is Shame Resilience?
Even though we can’t eliminate shame, we can become more resilient to it. Famous researcher and author Brene Brown calls this ‘shame resilience’ . And by resilience, she means :
“That ability to recognize shame when we experience it, and move through it in a constructive way that allows us to maintain our authenticity and grow from our experiences.” -Brené Brown
Why we should take off our mask ?
- It’s exhausting to live a life full of lies . An inauthentic life isn’t cool. Learn to live your truth.
Wearing a mask wears you out. Faking it is fatiguing. The most exhausting activity is pretending to be what you know you aren’t. – Rick Warren
- You will definitely lose your identity. You won’t know who you are anymore. To put it simply , you wouldn’t know which mask fits you best.
You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it. – Alan Moore
- Masking is a gateway to shallow relationships. When the mask slips your loved ones will gradually lose trust in you and to regain the lost trust it will cost your entire life.
Nothing is more real than the masks we make to show each other who we are. – Christopher Barzak
What happens when you take off your mask ?
- That’s when you don’t have to fake through basic questions like how your doing.
A : “How are you?”
“ I’m Fine” “It’s just not my day today dude..”
- when connecting with your feelings is no longer a bother. You are bold and blunt about your emotions and have no issues to confess that you are having a rough phase.
- It’s no more a big deal to breakdown or cry out loud in the open. That doesn’t make you weak anymore you understand that it only makes you more humane. you wear your scars with pride because you will gradually realize that your scar is your identity of survival.
Find the Flinch , Cut to the Chase and Weather the Storm . Do whatever it takes you to but don’t opt to spend all your life cowering under a mask. The inauthenticity is going to haunt you constantly.
Put your thinking caps on !!
And the million dollar question is : Are you planning to meet the world with a mask of a person you are not ?
Article By : Shamla Nasir .